Breaking wind

“We must never allow the scent of capitalism to attract us,” declared the Minju Chosun (a DPRK cabinet publication), adding, “We are being penetrated by the imperialists with every kind of rotten bourgeois lifestyle, and the sensitive nature of our young generation is being taken advantage of on a massive scale.”

I hate to tell you this, Kim, but that’s how the imperialists work. It always starts with free candy for the kids, then jeans, then rock ‘n’ roll and the next thing you know your kids are riding off in an old, imperialist van with no windows.

It’s a shame that out government produces such craptacular propaganda. If we’re going to be bombarded by propaganda (and we are), then i want it to be well written propaganda. I’m not deciding on a disposable razor here, so the slick, Madison Ave crap just wears on my nerves. Give it to us like you mean it. Here, the Minju Chosun will show you how it’s done…

“To devastate our political and ideological position, capitalist elements, including the United States, continue to blow a viciously sweet scent of capitalism into our country. To preserve their fate and guarantee a bright future for the nation. it is vitally important to educate our young so they won’t be dazzled by this scent of capitalism.”

“Once paralyzed by the sweet capitalist wind, they will fall into corruption, ignore the revolution and focus on individual pleasure, so we must awaken them to the enemies’ strategy.”

See, that’s good propaganda. And if you like the wind imagery as much as i do, you’ll be happy to know that it’s a full-fledged motif in DPRK propaganda. The Rodong Shinmun warned in September that blocking the “capitalist wind” was of the utmost importance, suggesting that maintaining illusions about capitalism is akin to drinking poison.

So there you have it, capitalism: history’s biggest fart. Viciously sweet at first, even dazzling but then paralyzing and poisonous. Kim, i’m sure, feels confident that America won’t just walk through the door and cut a window-rattler…he has the bomb after all. He’s worried about the evil SBD, the kind you don’t even know is there and then an intriguing whiff before it all goes bad.

What Kim doesn’t understand is that he’ll never be able to hold out. This is the globalization era, which is like being in car with the windows rolled up…and the driver being the only one with window controls…and the driver cutting SBD’s because he knows there’s nothing that any of us can do about it.

You won’t be able to hold your breath forever, Kim.

And i slid by the DPRK’s wikipedia page only to find a picture of a Family Mart in the Kaesong Industrial Region. Come on, Kim, i realize that it’s only for South Koreans but a god-damned Family Mart? Talk about sticking your nose into the flatulent, ass-end of capitalism. Maybe you’re not really holding your breath, huh? Maybe you’re just pretending to be disgusted but you secretly like that viciously sweet smell.

*The fart metaphor is all mine, but i got the quotes from a World Meets US article.

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~ by Lex on November 4, 2009.

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